Years have passed since my accident, and time has granted perspective. Yes, it took me a good five years to come to terms with what happened to me. But, I will say this now; I would not change what happened to me back then. By becoming disabled at a young age with young children I was handed a gift. I was "forced" into becoming a stay-at-home dad while my wife went into the workforce. The gift was being able to be home and watch my two young children grow into the people they are today. I was able to form a bond with my kids that most men are not able to achieve. Sure, I had to deal with the guilt of my wife becoming the bread winner of the family, but where is it written that the man must be the sole provider? We as men put pressure on ourselves, and more often than not we judge and define ourselves by what we do for a living. My family doctor told me at the beginning of my ordeal that I needed to be careful of slipping into a depression. The reason he said was that men define themselves by what they do and if a man loses the ability to work they also lose their measuring device. It turned out to be very good advice as I battled through my own depression.
I am now able to define myself not just by my occupation (stay-at-home dad), but by the accomplishments of my family and the time we spend together. I also now feel the need to give back to others. I spend time giving back through Boy Scouts and other endeavors
It may sound hard to believe that I would not change what happened to me, but I really believe that I was handed a gift that I had to figure out for myself. It may have taken longer than some for me to figure, but it is true that "through hardship we grow stronger".
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